Few Singaporeans may intend to be sexist or think of themselves as such. But some instances show that sexism and violence against women have become so normalised that when people joke about rape, others accept it as funny.

By Corinna Lim, Vivienne Wee and Kokila Annamalai

THE brutal gang rape on a bus in Delhi of the young Indian woman who later died in Singapore matters to each of us, wherever we are, as violence against women is a worldwide issue.

Though most countries have laws to address this, violence against women remains a problem so long as social prejudice against women persists. As the Delhi case shows, cultural attitudes are the root of the problem, rendering even good laws ineffective.

At first glance, Singapore appears safe, a city where women have the freedom to walk down the street without fear of being assaulted.

Yet, the National Crime Prevention Council is running a campaign that tells women to “avoid walking through dimly lit and secluded areas alone” and to “have someone escort you home when it’s late”. Are we to infer that Singapore streets are not that safe for women after all?

Look closer, and a more nuanced picture emerges. Even in Singapore, women are vulnerable to physical and sexual violence.

The 2011 International Violence Against Women Survey showed that one in 10 women in Singapore has been a victim of male violence. The number of reported rapes a year rose from 118 in 2006 to 202 in 2009, although they dipped to 164 and 150 in the following two years.

But a rapist isn’t always a masked stranger hiding in the bushes. It is well documented by international research institutes that in seven out of 10 cases, perpetrators of sexual assault are known to the victim. Acquaintance-rape is heavily under-reported, and rape victims often experience greater humiliation and violation of trust after their ordeals.

The Straits Times ran several articles yesterday on the rape situation in neighbouring countries. It was reported that in Malaysia, rape rates had doubled; in Indonesia officials blame victims; and in Thailand, a similar culture of blaming victims still persists.

What about Singapore?

The fact is that Singapore, while progressive in its treatment of women in many ways, is not immune to sex crimes or sexist attitudes.

Gang rape exists here too.

In 2010, five young men in Singapore raped a 17-year-old woman. One of them was known to her. They tricked her into meeting them and got her drunk. According to media reports, they took their turn to hold her down and rape her, including orally, and left her bleeding from the trauma.

The men were arrested and the judge declared the crime “a gang sexual assault of a grave nature which the accused persons had perpetrated without her consent”. Yet, for reasons not disclosed to the public, the charges were reduced and the accused were found guilty of “aggravated outrage of modesty” rather than rape. There was little public reaction to this case.

The New Paper also reported in a 2011 article that gangs in Singapore routinely engage in gang rape as a male bonding ritual.

A local, former gang member who frequented parties where such rapes took place spoke to the media, saying: “We call some of them ‘lor kway’ (Hokkien for streetwalker) and some of them ‘ah dai’ (fools).”

“Lor kway” are girls who are considered to have loose morals, he said, while “ah dai” refers to a newbie who attends the chalet parties with no inkling that drugs and sex are involved. Another former gang member said that the victim is often a gang member’s girlfriend. “After everyone gets high, the boyfriend offers her to the rest of the guys.”

George Mason University’s Sexual Assault Services webpage says that in multi-perpetrator rape, men experience a “unity of purpose that comes from the pride they feel in reducing their victim to nothing”.

When men define their masculinity through sexual violence against women, the cost is dysfunctional gender relations that result in family violence and unsafe societies.

Few Singaporeans may intend to be sexist or think of themselves as such. But some instances show that sexism and violence against women have become so normalised that when people joke about rape, others accept it as funny.

Take this recent Facebook exchange between two male National University of Singapore students:

X (in Holland on holiday): “If I had a way, I’d stay in Europe forever…”

A: “Find a rich family girl. Rape her. Get to be his (sic) husband. Problem solved.”

X: “This is Amsterdam. They probably offer themselves up to u. Hard to rape the willing…”

A: “Oh my. Try to get someone that is innocent and pure.”

This exchange did not provoke the kind of outrage elicited by some recent racist posts, such as Ms Amy Cheong’s.

Singaporeans are surrounded by images, language and music that make violence against women seem normal. From Eminem rap songs to glossy advertisements, the media sexualises and objectifies women while glorifying male aggression. The belief that to be male is to be sexually aggressive must be rejected.

Many sexual assault survivors who call the Aware helpline report that their moral character, behaviour and dressing are questioned by their family, friends and the police. Aware estimates that as many as 90 per cent of sexual assault cases are not reported to the authorities.

Singaporeans must challenge sexist attitudes which underlie everyday practices that appear harmless. It’s time for us, as a society, to say “no” to all forms of violence against women and to stop blaming women for the violence inflicted on them.

Corinna Lim is the Executive Director at AWARE, Dr Vivienne Wee is the Research & Advocacy Director at AWARE and Kokila Annamalai is the Communications Executive at AWARE. This piece was first published in The Straits Times on 08 Jan 2013.