An edited version of this letter was published in The Straits Times forum on 13 May 2017. 

The recent report of an unmarried mother adopting her biological child (“Unwed mum adopts own biological daughter”, 11 May) highlights the inappropriateness of branding children “illegitimate” and penalising their families.

It is absurd that women must adopt their biological children to remove the stigma that comes with this label, and access benefits that significantly support the children of married parents.  We have also encountered and supported women who embark on this process to remove the stigmatising label, with some success.

Over the past ten years, around 10,000 children have been born to unmarried mothers. Despite welcome advances in 2016, these children remain disadvantaged in law and policy. They are denied Baby Bonus cash gifts, and disadvantaged under inheritance laws. Their mothers, often financially strapped from single-income parenting, do not enjoy the same tax reliefs as married mothers.

Access to housing – a basic need for any family – is limited, as unmarried mothers cannot form a family nucleus with their children for public housing applications. If they apply as singles aged 35 or above, they can receive subsides only on smaller, inaccessible flats, which may not meet their growing children’s needs.

The Ministry of Social and Family Development said last year that differential treatment based on “legitimacy” reflects “the Government’s desire to promote strong marriages”.

However, it is unconvincing to suggest that meaningful values are promoted by making single mothers jump through extra legal and administrative hoops to meet their children’s needs and strive for a better life.

What positive values arise from imposing disadvantage and stigma on vulnerable families?  Are family relationships among married parents really strengthened by the idea that another group struggles with fewer resources and a lower societal status?

One unmarried mother I met described her parenthood as “a lonely journey”. She could not spend much time with her young child as she worked long hours to save for a flat. Another faced family hostility, receiving no support as she struggled to find a stable home.

Besides fears their children will be labelled as “illegitimate” or “bastard”, the mothers face stigma too: one was called a “disgrace” by her family, another dealt with unsympathetic officials who came across as judgmental.

This Mother’s Day, let us honour these women who love, care and provide for their children as much as other mothers do – and move toward true equality under the law.