Our “Your Stories” series are submissions shared with us via email or in one-on-one interviews, for the purposes of our research and campaigns. All names have been changed (unless the use of real names was explicitly permitted by the author), and we have sought permission to publish from the authors/interviewees themselves. The opinions expressed in these posts do not represent those of AWARE.

Amy: I’m writing about my second sister, C, who with the exception of a few years when she was away studying nursing and six months or so when Mum was away, lived with our mother until she died in 2004.

There was a spell in the mid-1970s when I was still living in the family home and my boss kindly allowed me to take my leave in half days and so I was able to share in caring for Mum for a couple of months when she was unwell. So I have more than an inkling of what it must have been like for C all these years.

If not for her care, it is unlikely that my mum would have lived to nearly 89 (she died three months before her birthday).

Until her final months, Mum had only been hospitalised once, for minor surgery, other than when she gave birth to me. She was mostly pretty healthy and had an active social life after giving up the restaurant. We would joke that all she really did was move the location and then invite her friends and ours to dine for free.

Our mum had been in sole charge of the six of us children (including four daughters) since our birth father left the family sometime before September 1953.

All but the eldest, a son, had worked alongside her from time to time when she ran her restaurant. She sold the premises in 1969 or 1970 and retired.

Because C lived with Mum and because she was a nurse, the task of caregiving fell mostly on her until the last months when we had two maids to help her. That, however, did not lift the emotional burden on her.

Neither of our two sisters are particularly inclined to be caregivers. So although there were times when C felt frustrated and would threaten to move out, she never did. Instead, she found solace in religion and has become a fervent Christian.

She is the only one in the family who has never married, the price of being the most caring.