SINGAPORE: Victim-blaming comments — i.e. comments that put the onus of avoiding sexual assault on the victim — are unfortunately commonplace in our society.

It’s no surprise, therefore, that they’ve reared their ugly head in recent days – when news broke about the rape of 15-year old girl after a game of Truth or Dare, and the 13 Telegram groups circulating explicit images without the knowledge of the people pictured.

Garbed as well-meaning concern and advice, the comments nevertheless perpetuate deeply harmful rape myths.

TOXIC SOCIAL MEDIA CHATTER

Three issues have featured prominently in many of the online comments about the teenage rape case: The girl’s intoxication, her choice of company in a gang of boys, and her lack of parental supervision. They all place at least partial blame of her rape on her, and her parents when they did not impose strict curfews on their daughter’s movements.

Separately, in CNA’s story about the Telegram groups, a victim referred to as Dania is quoted as saying that in her experience, women who have revealing photos taken are shamed as being improper, and responsible for their own predicament when those photos (inevitably, it is assumed) get circulated publicly.

The following statements might be obvious, but are worth repeating:

Drinking alcohol is not equivalent to consenting to sex. Spending time with boys is not equivalent to consenting to sex. Leaving your child unsupervised for a night is not equivalent to consenting to her having sex.

Taking a revealing photo intended for private use is not equivalent to consenting to have it circulated to thousands of strangers.

When the majority of comments on these news stories discuss what the victims did wrong, instead of what the perpetrators did wrong, you might be tempted to dismiss that as idle social media chatter.

But these comments speak to underlying rape myths we continue to hold about sexual violence, alcohol consumption, the company of men and women’s behaviour as a society.

RAPE MYTHS

Rape myths are beliefs about rape that serve to deny, downplay or justify sexual violence.

They help people ignore the complexity of rape in its full context — for example, the understanding that abusive relationships can feature genuine love alongside manipulation and victimisation.

Rape myths determine which incidents of assault are taken seriously and considered more “real” than others.

Rape myths can take one or a combination of four forms. They can blame the victim (e.g. “she should have resisted the attacker more”), cast doubt on allegations (e.g. “she just regrets having sex with him and is now looking for a way to feel better”), excuse the accused’s behaviour (e.g. “he was too drunk to know what he was doing”), or insist that sexual violence only happens to specific types of women (e.g. “slutty girls get raped and good girls don’t”).

For example, we see the first and fourth types in the case of the teenage rape. Online commenters rushed to declare that a girl who is the “type that drinks”, responds to sexual questions from boys when playing Truth or Dare, and stays out at night is practically asking to be raped.

Rape myths enjoy a high level of acceptance in Singapore. About 45 per cent of over 1,000 respondents to an IPSOS survey agreed with this statement: “Women who wear revealing clothes should not complain if men make comments about their appearance.”

Would those respondents also agree that “women who wear revealing clothes should not complain if men take non-consensual upskirt photos of them and share them in Telegram groups”? It doesn’t seem like that much of a stretch. The sheer size of those 13 Telegram groups points to how normalised an opinion that may be.

WE HAVE TO CHALLENGE RAPE MYTHS

Rape myths are pernicious for three reasons.

First, they discourage help-seeking behaviour. By undermining women’s experiences — for example, by asking questions that focus on the victim’s behaviour, mannerisms — they create a sense of violation that revictimises survivors.

They can spin survivors into a cycle of self-doubt (“Did my clothing communicate consent to sexual activity? Should I not talk to men in bars?”), which makes them feel too ashamed or too guilty to share their experiences with friends and family.

Even as many survivors try to consciously reject rape myths, they may find it difficult to escape the socially ingrained feeling they should have done something differently or that they are somehow at fault. Many end up isolated and do not get the support they need to help recover from the trauma of the rape.

Second, for the same reasons as above, rape myths discourage reporting. AWARE’s Sexual Assault Care Centre finds that seven out of 10 of its clients do not report their experiences to the police. This means that most perpetrators are never brought to justice, and live out their lives without any consequences for their violent actions.

Third, rape myths are used to create cautionary tales, mostly aimed at women, outlining behaviour that is appropriate. Women are routinely advised to monitor their alcohol intake when they go out, never leave their drinks unattended, or only spend time with men when other women are present.

At an event AWARE hosted on so-called “revenge porn” in 2018, a couple of well-meaning parents suggested the best way for young women to protect themselves from seeing their doctored photos on pornographic websites was to withdraw entirely from social media.