Written by Aria Lee. 

Former First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama once said that parenthood is about “leaving something better for our kids”. That hopeful spirit was alive and well at a celebration, held on 19 December 2019, for residents of AWARE’s Support, Housing and Enablement (S.H.E.) Project.

The S.H.E. Project provides stable and decent housing, and a transformational support programme, to low-income, single-mother families. These families, who are referred to AWARE by Family Service Centres (FSCs) or community partners, do not have the option of returning to their family homes, whether due to domestic issues, conflicts with parents, overcrowding or other issues. They also face difficulties finding shelters willing to take in their children alongside them, or applying to rent HDB apartments while under the age of 21.

This celebratory event was organised in collaboration with Visa to recognise these families’ big and small achievements, let them unwind from the pressures they face on a day-to-day basis, and connect and interact with one another on a deeper level.

As Liz, S.H.E. Project programme manager, announced, “We just wanted to take time out to honour all of you.”

The 25 or so attendees enjoyed a beautiful spread of tea and cakes, an array of children’s books for the young attendees, and a foot massage booth from the Mobile Massage Team (an initiative by the Singapore Association of the Visually Impaired). Volunteers from both Visa and AWARE were present to provide assistance.

Event facilitator Pei Yi, an associate legal counsel at Visa, started off by getting everyone to introduce themselves and their different backgrounds, nationalities, interests and areas of work.

Subsequently, the women of the S.H.E. Project spoke up about their struggles and successes in affairs such as appealing housing decisions, gaining lawyers, managing schedules, sending their children to school, settling debts, as well as the numerous ways their children have been supportive throughout these trials.

The S.H.E. women have also been an inspiration to other low-income women. Since joining S.H.E., they’ve reached out to other families, spoken at events and in various media, and written personal accounts for others to read and learn from. Altogether, these efforts have contributed to slow but steady progress in matters such as housing access for unwed single mothers.

Interactions at this event between the women of S.H.E. and the volunteers led to a more nuanced understanding of the challenges of raising a family as a single mother. Sometimes—the residents said—single mothers feel guilty for not meeting society’s unreasonable expectations of a mother, and often feel that they have failed as parents. It was all the more heartening to see everyone validate and affirm each other’s experiences that afternoon.

After the discussion, attendees were taken on a short tour of the Visa office space. Following that, the families and volunteers socialised and partook in activities while eating delicious pastries. Volunteers read aloud to the children from the books they had picked out, while the mothers conversed, received foot massages, and applied colourful temporary tattoos with the kids.

“It was interesting to get to know the other mothers,” said one of the S.H.E. residents afterwards. She added, “The massage was nice because I was so tired and sore from working!”

Single motherhood can be an incredibly trying challenge to navigate, especially in a country that upholds an unrealistically narrow definition of a family unit. We should continue to come together and push for a better future—not only for the mothers needing support and housing, but also for their children, the generation who will one day inherit this very society.