Our “Your Stories” series are submissions shared with us via email or in one-on-one interviews, for the purposes of our research and campaigns. All names have been changed (unless the use of real names was explicitly permitted by the author), and we have sought permission to publish from the authors/interviewees themselves. The opinions expressed in these posts do not represent those of AWARE.

Andrew is a Singaporean man married to a Vietnamese woman, Thao. What he hoped would be a happily ever after (“so long as they shall live”) turned out to be years of turmoil, separation and unanswered questions.

Despite four attempts, Andrew’s appeals to the ICA to secure a Long Term Visit Pass (LTVP) for his wife have been fruitless. This has forced the couple into an emotionally and financially laborious arrangement: They can only be together nine months in a year, in three-month stretches at a time. Each time Thao has to return home to Vietnam, Andrew follows her, which is a drain on his finances due to the two-way airline costs, higher living expenses overseas, and lower monthly salary. (He has to take no-pay leave to go to Vietnam with his wife.)

He had also turned to his MPs (Members of Parliament) for help with appeals to ICA, but has still failed to secure an LTVP for his wife. Despite tremendous efforts to communicate with the ICA about his situation by requesting for interviews and asking how he could address the shortcomings of the applications, all he has received is silence. The uncertainty of the couple’s situation and their prolonged separation from each other has forced them to give up on their plans to conceive, halting their IVF sessions altogether.

Now 75 years old, Andrew is beset with health problems such as an intestinal blockage and eyesight issues arising from his cornea transplant. He is dependent on his wife for care and support. Due to COVID-19 border restrictions and the escalation of cases in both Singapore and Vietnam, his wife has been stuck in Ho Chi Minh for the past five months, leaving Andrew without his primary caregiver and source of emotional support.

The separation between husband and wife has led to increased emotional turmoil for Andrew, and deterioration of his health.

“If I die,” he says, “I would just like to see my wife one last time and tell her how much I love her.”