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Year: 2020

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Position Filled: Senior Programme Executive, Sexual Assault Care Centre

We are no longer accepting applicants for this role.

AWARE’s Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) is looking for a Senior Programme Executive to support the centre in programme development, through monitoring and evaluation, to measure impact and ensure high and consistent quality for its various programmes. The role also requires supporting the SACC team in analysing data, drafting funding reports and liaising with external stakeholders. You can read more about our Sexual Assault Care Centre here.

Commitment: Full-time, Monday to Friday, 40 hours a week
Salary range: $3,160 – $3,940
Term: One year (with possibility of extension)
Starting date: Immediate
Citizenship: Singapore citizen/PR or non-Singaporean holding Dependent’s Pass, LTVP or LTVP+ pass

Job Description

  • Establishing, monitoring and evaluating performance indicators for various SACC services and processes to ensure high quality and trauma-informed practices
  • Ensuring information gathered through monitoring activities is shared in a timely manner with senior Programme Coordinators, such that any issues arising and/or process gaps can be addressed
  • Assisting in the development of SACC programmes targeted at enhancement of services and processes
  • Developing data collection tools, and organising and analysing data collected to further SACC’s programmes and advocacy goals
  • Translating data into understandable, visually simple and powerful messages to inform decision-making and strategic short-term and long-term planning, as well as show SACC’s impact
  • Providing relevant, timely and accurate information to key stakeholders through various reports (e.g. monthly reports, funding reports, etc).
  • Liaising with and managing key internal and external stakeholders
  • Working closely with Women’s Care Centre staff, counsellors and Helpliners to support each other’s work

    Requirements

  • Minimum of 3 years of professional experience in a performance monitoring and/or evaluation role or programme management role or related experience
  • Relevant education qualifications in management, development or related fields. Experience in the social sector is a bonus
  • Good analytical skills and commitment to confidentiality
  • Strong project planning: highly creative, adaptable and a self-starter
  • Excellent interpersonal and communication skills in English (verbal and written)
  • Superb organisational and time management skills
  • Ability to use initiative and judgment to solve problems independently and meet deadlines in a high-paced environment while balancing workload and competing priorities
  • Proficiency in MS Office, especially Excel, PowerPoint and Word

Read our privacy policy here.

Please note that due to the large number of applications, only shortlisted applicants will be contacted for an interview. If you have any questions about this position, please email careers@aware.org.sg.

10, 17, 24 October 2020: Birds & Bees, a workshop for parents about sex education

“This was valuable… it made me reflect on my own values regarding sex and what I may project onto my children.”

“It opens up our inhibitions and gives us real opportunities to put [our thoughts into] words.”

“Often boys are let off the hook, but I think they should be mindful and learn about boundaries, especially in this day and age when lines are blurred and there’s so much to access online.”

“Can they do this in school for our children?”

– Previous Birds & Bees workshop attendees

Most parents believe that it is important to talk to their children about sex, but many are uncertain how to do it. But what happens when you keep putting it off until the children are “older”? Where do your children get answers to questions they can’t ask you? (The internet is one such place, and young people say they are most likely to ask peers and romantic partners.)

Birds & Bees is an experiential workshop for parents, developed by parents, to explore what works for you when talking to your child about romantic relationships and sex. A variety of formats will be used, including opportunities for dialogue, discussion and reflection

Most parents want to be an “ask-able” parent: to be the approachable adult who is open to questions and who their child turns to for answers. Attend this workshop to explore how you can work on developing your own strategies to enhance the trust and bond with your child!

All parents would find the content useful and applicable. For this online workshop, we are giving priority to parents of children aged 10-15 so that the discussions can be more age-targeted.

Places are limited so do sign up quickly!

Date: Saturdays – 10, 17, 24 October (Participants are expected to attend all three sessions)

Time: 10-11.30am (1.5 hours)

Workshop Fee: $15 (in total, covering all three sessions)

Survey: After you sign up, you will be asked to complete a short pre-workshop survey about the age(s) and number of your children. This is very important so that parents with children of similar ages can be grouped together to that you will get the most out of the workshop.

Special instructions for online workshop: As small-group discussions will be a big part of the workshop, participants are expected to switch on their video as well as audio whenever possible, and to join in the discussions for maximum benefit.

Refunds and cancellations: Unfortunately we will not be offering refunds. You are expected to attend all three session of the online workshop. In exceptional circumstances, if you are unable to attend the subsequent sessions, you will be able to join the next set of workshops if you write in to publiceducation@aware.org.sg in advance giving your reasons.

**If you would like to join the workshop but cannot make it at this time, please fill in the indication of interest form.

Register here!

What do advertisements tell us about the state of gender relations in Singapore?

This commentary was originally published in Rice Media on 27 August 2020.

We open on Shaza Ishak, a young woman who runs the Malay theatre company Teater Ekamatra. In a voiceover, Shaza talks about the meaning she has found in bringing minority voices to the stage. While her work requires her to sacrifice family time, she ultimately accepts the trade-off in exchange for creative fulfilment and societal change.

This Singtel ad, titled “In Return”, played in Singapore in 2019. If you’d seen it, it might not have struck you as remarkable. After all, its narrative, about a driven female business-owner, shouldn’t be groundbreaking.

Yet in the landscape of local advertising, “In Return” is a rare gem. We’re more likely to see ads like the recent one for new residence Uptown@Farrer, featuring a condescending, self-centered man and his beleaguered pregnant wife—an ad that has been called misogynistic and reductive by members of the public and industry leaders alike.

Portrayals contained in commercials are important to analyse for two reasons.

First, media portrayals are drawn from society at large—they are often reflections of prevailing cultural values. Second, these portrayals likely play an active role in socialisation—i.e. men and women may take cues from media portrayals on how to act out their masculinity and femininity.

When they rely on traditional gender roles, advertisements maintain hierarchical gender relations. But when they portray men and women as equals, our ads may provoke society at large to imagine a different—more just—world.

A CONTENT ANALYSIS OF 200 TELEVISION ADS

Recently, gender-equality organisation AWARE and marketing consultancy R3 Worldwide embarked on a project to analyse gender portrayals contained in Singapore commercials. We looked at 200 television advertisements spanning a range of industries, including telecommunications, financial services, beauty and government. They were produced by Singapore’s top 100 advertisers, and broadcast in Singapore between 2018 and 2020. From this sample, we aimed to develop a snapshot of gender relations in Singapore today.

We set about identifying a shortlist of ads that could serve as exemplars for gender equality. While guidelines on gender portrayal have been published for advertisers in other countries (e.g. by the Advertising Standards Authority in the UK), there has been no such endeavour in Singapore. We therefore hoped our list would give local advertisers a nudge to think more critically about their own depictions of gender.

First, we tallied men and women in lead and supporting parts across the 200 ads to derive a ratio of male to female characters. We also listed out some common roles relating to gender and power—such as “expert/novice” or “saviour/saved”—and tallied the characters who fell into those roles. Finally, in evaluating individual ads, we considered their treatment of gender stereotypes, beauty standards, violence against women, and sexual objectification.

Our first exercise, meant to indicate representation, was immediately disappointing. The 200 ads featured 23% more male lead characters (179 vs. 146), and 8% more male supporting characters (328 vs. 304), than female.

THE SACRIFICE OF WORKING WOMEN

Branching from there into gender roles, we found that ads were 48% more likely to depict men (62 ads) than women (42 ads) as having paid employment of some sort.. In reality, men do outnumber women in the Singapore workforce; however, the difference in male and female labour force participation is not nearly as wide as the above would imply.

A few ads stood out to us for their portrayals of working women, especially in male-dominated fields. A favourite was Apple’s “Daughter”, which sympathetically tells the story of a single mother eking out a living as a cabbie while toting her young daughter along.

Another high-scoring ad, Vaseline’s “Visible Scars, Invisible Strength”, features 71-year-old Lee Hwee Chin, who overcame discrimination as a blade-sharpener for 40 years.

“[Customers] compared me against my father and felt I was not as skilled,” Lee confesses. It’s inspiring to observe Lee’s evident skill, and hear her describe her scarred hands not as disfigurement but a representation of professional “achievement”.

Even so, these high-scoring ads reveal an unfortunate pattern: When women’s careers are spotlighted, their work is always shown alongside sacrifice. Lee’s trade is physically demanding, and presumably low-paying; though elderly, she mentions being “unable to stop work”. For Apple’s single-mum cabbie, work comes into conflict with her parenting. On the other hand, men in our ads were comparatively free to pursue their careers without the suggestion that they were taking time away from family.

This difference, coupled with the exaggerated lack of working women in our ad set, drives home the antiquated idea that women don’t belong at work—they belong at home.

Correspondingly, ads were almost six times more likely to depict women performing some sort of domestic work—e.g. cleaning, cooking or childcare—than the male equivalent (23 vs. 4 ads).This speaks to an underlying belief that housework is the sole purview of women. Since that housework is often unpaid, experts locate in this belief injustices like the gender wage gap (which, unadjusted, was 16.3% in Singapore in 2018).The pastimes enjoyed by women in our ads tended to be things like shopping and dining: stereotypically “feminine” hobbies that require little in the way of physical exertion.

Only a few ads made an effort to think outside this box. A FWD ad entitled “My Girlfriend’s Such a Fighter” centres on a female boxer valiantly fighting cancer as her boyfriend looks on. The UOB ad “Black Belt” features a girl who trains hard at judo under the coaching of her father, eventually winning a medal.

Both these ads revolve around women’s physical and psychological strength. Neither places the focus explicitly on the protagonists’ gender, but their subtext—of women facing adversity with the support of the men in their lives—is clear.

ADHERENCE TO CONVENTIONAL BEAUTY NORMS

When it came to body image, we hoped to see ads that featured, in a positive light, women with diverse sizes, skin, hair, and other attributes. This would have reflected more accurately the realities of female physique and appearance—the normalisation and celebration of which have been shown to increase viewers’ self-acceptance and confidence.

Instead, the vast majority of ads featured slim, fair-skinned and pretty women, sometimes coupled with more homely/plain-looking men in a clear display of gendered double standards.

Again, only a handful of ads distinguished themselves here. For example, Apple’s “Behind the Mac” is a simple, powerful montage of well-known female artists and leaders, from Lady Gaga to Malala Yousafzai, who all look distinctively radiant in their own skin.

Meanwhile, Singtel’s “GOMO feat. Preetipls” is shot through with the body-positive local entertainer’s signature mix of glamour and satire. With the full-figured Preetipls doing sultry beach yoga in the manner of skinny Instagram influencers everywhere, or comically sporting a fake unibrow, the ad defiantly flips off the rigid beauty standards that would typically cast its star as the butt of a joke (if it cast her at all).

The ad that performed best in this category belonged to Dove. In “Rachel’s Story”, a woman with eczema talks openly about learning to be proud of her skin, after years of disparagement from others: “I look at every mark on my body as … a point where I’ve gotten through the pain and I’ve come out stronger.”

The ad’s no-frills authenticity stands in stark contrast to the relentless parade of perfect-skinned models that typically star in beauty campaigns.

MISOGYNY BOTH SUBTLE AND POINTED

What else did our study reveal about gender in Singapore?

We found a number of ads to lean on cringeworthy clichés, portraying men as romantic aggressors, heroes or omniscient beings, and women as romantic conquests, damsels in distress or ignorant neophytes. Indeed, there were 2.5 times more ads (35 vs. 14) depicting men providing knowledge—e.g. teaching others or answering questions—than the equivalent for women. This despite the fact that ads depicted men and women receiving knowledge at around the same rate.

What’s more, this knowledge provision isn’t always polite. One egregious ad shows a sternly patronising father explaining mobile banking to his ditzy, vain daughter. In another, a woman is scolded—at length, with expletives—by a disembodied male voice for wasting food.

One particularly discouraging ad took an approach that explicitly pits women against men, in a simplistic and unproductive way. A frazzled housewife immediately flies off the handle when her husband forgets to put the toilet seat down, and fantasises about starting a hyperbolic, petty online movement around this incident.

Reducing legitimate debates about the unequal burden of domestic labour to literal toilet humour, the ad centres on a (sadly, all too familiar) refusal to take women’s problems seriously.


CAN WE REWRITE THIS SCRIPT? 

Much of our advertising, it seems, is predicated on a number of retrograde ideas about gender that help to hold women back. These ads reflect the unideal state of gender equality in Singapore society, but do little to offer solutions.

We hope for more advertisers to deepen their understanding of gender. Even from a purely economic perspective, a wise brand would not underestimate the purchasing power of women. After all, women in Singapore today earn an average base pay of $61,653 a year. In fact, the 2019 Labour Force Survey found that female millennials aged 20-30 earn more than men on average.

It behooves advertisers to make an effort to catch up with today’s gender landscape and produce the nuanced, intelligent work that audiences desire: in which women are individuals with equal abilities and footing in the world.

Kelly Leow, Communications Manager, AWARE

A Recap: Birds & Bees, an (online) workshop for parents about sex education

written by Mahi Nair

Birds & Bees is a workshop that engages parents on topics related to sexual health and relationships, so as to equip them to better communicate with their children about sexual education. The workshop is conducted by facilitators Tan Joo Hymn, a storyteller, teacher and a longtime AWARE member; Mathangi Kumar, an ESOL teacher and counsellor; and Lee Yi Ting, a former Ministry of Education sex-ed facilitator and active advocate for sexual health and sexuality education in Singapore.

Previous editions of the Birds & Bees workshops were conducted in person. However as of June 2020, workshops are held online via Zoom. This workshop was conducted online across three sessions, each session lasting for 1.5 hours. Sessions were purposefully kept small, with fewer than 12 participants, to allow more time for discussion and sharing.

During the first session, participants were split up into smaller discussion groups to talk about the sex education that they themselves had received in their youth. Many parents shared that their sex education had been minimal, or that it had felt awkward, overly scientific or out of touch. Some found it to be uninformative or simply incorrect, with little variety or practical explanations of sexuality and sexual health. Parents expressed regret that comprehensive sex ed had not been taught to them.

All the parents agreed on one thing: They wished that they had been taught more formally about sexual health and exploration. They thought it important to teach sex education from a place of respect and love—for their own bodies and for others’. 

The first session covered consent, while the second session focused on being an “ask-able” parent—i.e. being approachable and open, so as to encourage their children to confide in them. The third and final session touched on healthy versus unhealthy relationships, as well as sexual assault. The sessions also went in depth on how to have effective and healthy communication to broach these potentially uncomfortable or controversial topics. 

The facilitators highlighted how communication is a two-way process. Parents have to remain empathetic and open-minded in order to effectively converse with their children, through sharing personal stories and active-listening. 

At the end of the first session, the facilitators give the parents “homework”, which involved observing how they interacted with their children throughout the week, and identifying parts of their speech that could be improved upon for more effective communication. This included watching out for their own habits—were they giving instructions and scolding, or participating in active listening and response?

During the sharing session the following week, some reflected that they were used to scolding and giving instructions, which offered little space for their child to voice out their own feelings and thoughts. Noticing these patterns helped parents to identify which areas they needed to work upon: One parent shared that after reflecting upon their own communication style, they realised that it had to change. This led to implementing a more listening-focused stance when communicating with their child, rather than telling their child what to do.

Collectively, the parents agreed that topics like one’s own sexuality and safe sex practices were in fact awkward to bring up with their children (sentiments that corresponded with the findings of a recent survey by AWARE and Blackbox). Many felt that it was difficult to have these conversations abruptly, despite understanding their importance.

Accordingly, a significant takeaway from the workshop was that communication about awkward topics is not “one big talk”, but rather many micro conversations. For example, Joo Hymn suggested dropping small casual hints during daily conversations, like mentioning a scene from a movie that you watched together with your child, and then asking them their opinion on it. This technique allowed Joo Hymn to start a dialogue about an awkward topic with her child, while avoiding an uncomfortable or embarrassing confrontational moment. 

It is important to acknowledge that when speaking about difficult or emotional topics, such as LGBTQ issues, pornography and consent, both parent and child might be feeling fearful and judged. However, it is important to talk to one’s child about these things regardless, and take steps towards normalising healthy, open conversations.

The next run of Birds & Bees takes place on 27 August, 3 September and 10 September 2020. Get your tickets now.

How to Navigate the Financial Realities of Divorce: Part Three (Post-Divorce)

written by Bernard Foong and edited by Ashley Chua

Divorce takes up time, energy and money, and demands a lot of emotional resources. Regardless of whether or not you are prepared for it, the legal and financial reality of the process can hit hard for all parties. However, some basic knowledge of financial management and planning can empower you to know your rights and options during divorce. You could start planning to have funds put away—for expenses during divorce, and for financial needs after divorce.

Divorce looks different for every individual. Hence, you should seek more specific advice from experts familiar with your situation. Nonetheless, these financial tips should point you in the right direction.

This three-part article provides advice on three phases of divorce:

This is part three: the post-divorce phase.

POST-DIVORCE PHASE

You may have received the final judgment of divorce. A new life may have accompanied this, with changes in your career or working arrangements, new housing and childcare needs, and other adjustments.

You may have regained some ability to rebuild a financial future for you and your children. Self-sufficiency and long-term planning are essential. Consider asking yourself these questions:

  • How will you continue to engage with your ex-spouse?
  • How can you map your financial needs and resources?
  • What can you do to safeguard your health?
  • How can you seek support for your changing financial needs?

 

1. How will you continue to engage with your ex-spouse?

After divorce, you and your ex-spouse will likely still be involved in each other’s lives. If you have no children with your ex-spouse, you may have to engage with him about maintenance for yourself, matters involving your matrimonial home, and other pending legal matters.

If you do have children with your ex-spouse, you’ll probably have to engage with him about all the above, plus maintenance for your children, as well as custody, care and control, and access to them.

Maintenance

The ex-spouse may default on maintenance payments, citing reasons such as job loss, health issues and so on. The truth of these reasons will be determined by the Court, with the appropriate remedies should they turn out to be false. Consider filing an Enforcement of Maintenance Order under Family Justice Court and reporting to the Credit Bureau, especially if your ex-spouse is concerned about credit reputation. Refer to the diagramme for more information.

If the ex-spouse is determined not to comply with the maintenance order, you may need to attend numerous court hearings, which could be trying. However, know that there is support available for your emotional, legal and financial needs (see below).

2. How can you map your financial needs and resources?

It is essential to review whether your current financial resources are enough for you and your household. An immediate consideration would be to set aside a minimum of six months to a year of your monthly expenditure as emergency cash to cater for unexpected events, including a default on your maintenance.

Additionally, you may also need to ensure that you and your household insurance needs have been re-established. Your ex-spouse may cancel the entire household insurance and surrender all policies to claim the proceeds, to the detriment of you and your household. Protect your financial status with the appropriate beneficiaries to your estate by doing a comprehensive assessment.

Here are basic financial management principles, useful in any financial situation. These can be further explored with a financial consultant.

  • Principle 1: Identify short-, medium- and long-term financial objectives:

  • Principle 2: Prioritise all your financial objectives into two categories: needs and wants
  • Principle 3: Match your needs to your guaranteed income and wants to your non-guaranteed income
    • Examples of guaranteed income: CPF life, annuity, fixed deposits
    • Examples of non-guaranteed income: Property rental, investments, alimony
  • Principle 4: Seek out loans that you are able to repay
  • Principle 5: If there is a gap in your financial needs, seek assistance as soon as possible

 

3. What can you do to safeguard your health?

Medical planning includes planning for your physical and mental health. Below is an overview of what a medical plan should look like.

Apart from physical health, declining mental health is also a concern. Protect yourself with the Lasting Power of Attorney and appoint someone who will make the best decisions when you are mentally impaired—the time when you are most vulnerable and dependent on others. Refer to the information by the Office of Public Guardian below or seek professional advice.

4. How can you seek support for your changing financial needs?

Clients of AWARE have shared that the legal proceedings, the adjustment period, and lifestyle changes that accompany divorce do take a toll on their savings. Here are some avenues for financial support:

  • Speak to a social worker at a Family Service Centres near you to get information on programmes that offer financial aid
  • Apply for various types of assistance, such as ComCare financial assistance, job matching and family services at your nearest Social Service Office
  • Visit AWARE’s online resource for single parents for more information on government parenting support schemes, HDB policy and important legal issues. (Note: The site is specifically for unmarried single mothers, but some information is applicable for divorced single mothers.)

Counselling services are also available islandwide at counselling centres, all Family Service Centres and specialised social services, such as Divorce Specialist Support Centres. AWARE also provides individual counselling for women. To seek counselling support at AWARE, call 1800-777-5555.

By regulation, assisting in divorce financial matters is not within the scope of responsibility of a financial planner in Singapore. (This may be different in other countries.) However, you may reach out to a financial planner for general financial planning that arises out of a divorce—for example, documenting your family’s financial situation in general, making changes to your insurance plans, or selling your assets.

Bernard is a financial educator who strongly believes in the rights of everyone to access information on financial planning. Witnessing his mother’s financial and emotional vulnerability from her marital failure, spurred him to use his financial knowledge to support women considering divorce. He currently volunteers with AWARE’s CARE services to raise awareness about the need for financial planning for women contemplating or undergoing divorce.

27 August, 3 September and 10 September 2020: Birds & Bees, A Workshop for Parents About Sex Education

“This was valuable… it made me reflect on my own values regarding sex and what I may project onto my children.”

“It opens up our inhibitions and gives us real opportunities to put [our thoughts into] words.”

“Often boys are let off the hook, but I think they should be mindful and learn about boundaries, especially in this day and age when lines are blurred and there’s so much to access online.”

“Can they do this in school for our children?”

– Previous Birds & Bees workshop attendees

Most parents believe that it is important to talk to their children about sex, but many are uncertain how to do it. But what happens when you keep putting it off until the children are “older”? Where do your children get answers to questions they can’t ask you? (The internet is one such place, and young people say they are most likely to ask peers and romantic partners.)

Birds & Bees is an experiential workshop for parents, developed by parents, to explore what works for you when talking to your child about romantic relationships and sex. A variety of formats will be used, including opportunities for dialogue, discussion and reflection

Most parents want to be an “ask-able” parent: to be the approachable adult who is open to questions and who their child turns to for answers. Attend this workshop to explore how you can work on developing your own strategies to enhance the trust and bond with your child!

All parents would find the content useful and applicable. For this online workshop, we are giving priority to parents of children aged 10-15 so that the discussions can be more age-targeted.

Places are limited so do sign up quickly!

Date: 27 August, 3 September, 10 September (Participants are expected to attend all three sessions)

Time: 8.00pm – 9.30pm (1.5 hours)

Workshop Fee: $15 (in total, covering all three sessions)

Survey: After you sign up, you will be asked to complete a short pre-workshop survey about the age(s) and number of your children. This is very important so that parents with children of similar ages can be grouped together to that you will get the most out of the workshop.

Special instructions for online workshop: As small-group discussions will be a big part of the workshop, participants are expected to switch on their video as well as audio whenever possible, and to join in the discussions for maximum benefit.

Refunds and cancellations: Unfortunately we will not be offering refunds. You are expected to attend all three session of the online workshop. In exceptional circumstances, if you are unable to attend the subsequent sessions, you will be able to join the next set of workshops if you write in to publiceducation@aware.org.sg in advance giving your reasons.

**If you would like to join the workshop but cannot make it at this time, please fill in the indication of interest form.

Register here.

A Recap: Good boys, softbois, sammyboys, boys will be boys – learning and unlearning toxic masculinity

Written by Mahi Nair, AWARE intern

On 21 July, AWARE held a virtual panel discussion entitled “Good boys, softbois, sammyboys, boys will be boys: learning and unlearning toxic masculinity”. Almost 200 attendees joined in for the talk, with speakers Keeshan “Shan” Menon, a social worker and transgender activist; Kristian-Marc James, a Diversity and Inclusion programme coordinator and member of SG Climate Rally; and Tan Wah Kiat, long-time AWARE member and chairperson of the 2006 White Ribbon Campaign.

Moderated by AWARE’s Head of Research and Advocacy, Shailey Hingorani, the discussion covered what it means to be a man today, navigating different types of masculinities. It shed light on the different means by which masculinity affects the way men and women alike behave and are treated by others—in their personal lives, workplaces and other spaces.

Shailey began by bringing up the concept of “hegemonic masculinity”: the culturally dominant ideals of masculinity, centred around authority, physical toughness and strength, heterosexuality and paid work. This is an ideal of masculinity that many men struggle to live up to, and from which many others gain advantage.

Panellists quickly debunked the idea that there is only one correct way to be a man. Instead, all of them pushed for a more fluid understanding of society, stereotypes and gender representation.

Panellist Kristian-Marc James of SG Climate Rally

Kristian spoke about physicality in gender representation, touching upon the idea of being “male-passing” or “straight-passing”. He observed that conforming to the standards of typical male physicality allows him to navigate some spaces with less vulnerability than a man who presented differently on the outside. (However, Kristian also recognised that other aspects of his identity, such as his ethnicity, might disadvantage him in other ways within the Singapore context.)

Similarly, Shan explained that in his experience with social work, being a man is an automatic “entry” to communicating well with male clients. A female social worker, he reflected, might not be able to build rapport with a male client as easily as he could, as a “bro”. Shan uses this advantage to build relationships with male offenders, so as to provide them better services.

Wah Kiat recalled an old Mandarin adage (“男人流血不流泪”, roughly translating to “men bleed, not cry”) when he described his traditional upbringing—as a child, his father encouraged him to be unemotional and stoic. After becoming a feminist and AWARE member in his adult life, Kiat realised that suppressing his emotions in this manner was only harming himself. Reflecting on other experiences with gender inequality, Kiat also touched on the systemic devaluing of female workers, recalling when he realised that he might be earning more than a woman for performing the same job.

Panellist Tan Wah Kiat, a long-time AWARE member and teacher

In the chat box, audience members kept up a running discussion that paralleled and complemented the panellists’. Some lamented on how, despite becoming more aware of the detrimental effects of toxic masculinity, society largely continues to embrace it (e.g. by praising men who play traditionally masculine sports or activities, or who are sexually dominant).

This led to a question posed by Shailey to both the panelists and the attendees: In a society so overwhelmingly rooted in the patriarchy, how do we even begin to reject toxic masculinity?

The panellists suggested that individual actions can have an effect on society, ranging from small acts like “calling out” harmful behaviour from male friends, to larger advocacy or activism work that dismantles gendered structures. The first step is acknowledging that these systems are obsolete and need to change.

In the chat, an attendee also raised an important point about reexamining the ways parents raise sons differently than daughters.

Panellist Shan Menon, a social worker

Unlearning toxic masculinity might seem like an uphill battle, but this event showed that there are many passionate voices ready to make a difference. Having conversations like these is a good way to start. And notable wins—such as the increased number of women in Parliament after the recent General Election—can keep the momentum going.

Following this event, we are inviting members of the public to join a collective of individuals working on issues of masculinity. To be added to the group, please fill up this form.

How to Navigate the Financial Realities of Divorce: Part Two (Mid-Divorce)

written by Bernard Foong and edited by Ashley Chua

Divorce takes up time, energy and money, and demands a lot of emotional resources. Regardless of whether or not you are prepared for it, the legal and financial reality of the process can hit hard for all parties. However, some basic knowledge of financial management and planning can empower you to know your rights and options during divorce. You could start planning to have funds put away – for expenses during divorce, and for financial needs after divorce.

Divorce looks different for every individual. Hence, you should seek more specific advice from experts familiar with your situation. Nonetheless, these financial tips should point you in the right direction.

This three-part article provides advice on three phases of divorce:

This is part two: the mid-divorce phase.

MID-DIVORCE PHASE

So you have received or filed the Writ of Divorce, and now you’re contemplating your next step. Here are some common financial considerations:

  1. How can you defend yourself against financial abuse by your spouse?
  2. What are your post-divorce financial considerations?
  3. How can you protect financial assets for yourself and for your children?
  4. Should you terminate jointly owned properties?
  5. Should you update the beneficiaries of your will and insurance policies?

Let’s answer these one by one.

1. How can you defend yourself against financial abuse by your spouse?

It is possible for a spouse to exert additional financial pressure to coerce you into an unfavourable divorce settlement. Some common tactics employed include:

  • Withdrawing money from a joint account
  • Maximising the credit card limit from your supplementary credit card
  • Refusing to support household expenses until ordered to do so
  • Refusing to cooperate in mediation, with the intent of increasing legal fees
  • Contesting the divorce or ancillary matters, with the intent of complicating or dragging out the divorce process

You have options to protect yourself from such actions. Provide evidence as and when these thing happen and, if you are represented, present it to your lawyer. Interlocutory applications – such as a maintenance order, and interim care and control for children – can be filed. The Court may consider such conduct by the spouse as prejudicing in its judgment.

2. What are your post-divorce financial considerations?

In the midst of divorce, you and your spouse may disagree on the division of matrimonial assets, maintenance for you and your children, as well as child custody, care and control. Either party may contest proposed arrangements for any of these items. Some lawyers may advise their clients to aim towards minimising the financial impact to them and their family.

Not all assets are equal. Some assets, if sold within short notice, may result in heavy losses. Likewise, some assets may have huge potential to grow.


Based on your post-divorce financial needs, certain assets may be more useful to you and your family. Below are examples of matching a specific asset to a specific need. Once you know which asset is useful, you are in a better position to negotiate with your spouse.

3. How can you protect your financial assets for your children?

At any point of time, your spouse may dispose or transfer various assets, with the aim of reducing the division of matrimonial assets or alimony payable.

There are two possible approaches to safeguard your assets. If you are uncertain, it is advisable to speak to professionals in their specialised trade – legal and finance.

4. Should you terminate jointly owned properties?

Uncontested divorce procedures may take between three to six months, whereas a contested divorce may take up to more than six months, depending on the nature of dispute.

Should a sudden premature death happen, and the property is jointly owned, the living spouse will take sole ownership of the property. To prevent this, a conversion from a jointly owned property to a tenancy in common may be needed.

 

Converting a HDB flat Converting Private Property
Needs consent of the joint owners to convert the status of jointly owned property. Need HDB approval. Does not need consent of the joint owners. However, a statutory declaration, stating intentions, needs to be signed and duly served by a lawyer. 

 

Note that if there is a charge or outstanding mortgage on the jointly owned property, the conversion may need the consent of the bank. Due to the complexities of such conversion, it is advisable to speak to a lawyer.

 

5. Should you update the beneficiaries of your will and insurance policies?

Without a will or nomination, your spouse could potentially be entitled to 50 percent of your assets under the Intestate Succession Act, as illustrated below. Having a will and nomination bypass this.

Wills and nominations are two parts of estate planning. To find out more about estate planning, you may reach out to a financial planner.

You can understand your rights and get guidance on these steps through:

  • Legal clinics islandwide provide free legal advice sessions ranging from 20-40 minutes. The AWARE legal clinic provides you with a one-time, free, 20-minute legal clinic session. Call 1800-777-5555 to get a referral. Otherwise, you can check your eligibility with other Singapore legal clinics at legalclinics.sg.
  • The Legal Aid Bureau provides pro bono legal aid to Singaporeans and PRs for a number of legal issues. Contact them to check your eligibility. Otherwise, foreigners can contact ACMI to check if they are able to provide legal aid.
  • Some private firms offer a short free or discounted first consultation.

 

Counselling services are also available islandwide at various counselling centres, Family Service Centres and specialised social services, such as Divorce Specialist Support Centres. AWARE also provides individual counselling for women. To seek counselling support at AWARE, call 1800-777-5555.

By regulation, assisting in divorce financial matters is not within the scope of responsibility of a financial planner in Singapore. (This may be different in other countries.) However, you may reach out to a financial planner for general financial planning that arises out of a divorce – for example, documenting your family’s financial situation in general, making changes to your insurance plans, or selling your assets.

Future-planning for yourself and your children

In the last installment, we will be talking about financial planning for your life post-divorce. Here are some questions we’ll consider:

  • How can you seek support for your changing financial needs?
  • How can you balance your children’s needs with your own retirement needs?
  • What can you do for your health needs as they increase with age?

Bernard is a financial educator who strongly believes in the rights of everyone to access information on financial planning. Witnessing his mother’s financial and emotional vulnerability from her marital failure, spurred him to use his financial knowledge to support women considering divorce. He currently volunteers with AWARE’s CARE services to raise awareness about the need for financial planning for women contemplating or undergoing divorce.

25 August 2020: Family domestic violence, what can workplaces do? [Catalyse and High Commission of Canada]

As millions of people work from home, a new outbreak is growing—family domestic violence (FDV). Now that home has become the workplace for many, employers are recognising that family domestic violence often negatively impacts workplace productivity. Moreover, studies show that a high proportion of FDV victims confide in their colleagues about the situation.

Progressive workplaces (including some in Singapore) have started to implement FDV policies, provide benefits to support employees who experience domestic violence, and to train their managers and employees to support colleagues experiencing FDV.

Catalyse presents a panel discussion in collaboration with the High Commission of Canada in Singapore. Panelists include Barbara MacQuarrie, Community Director of CREVAWC; Corinna Lim, Executive Director of AWARE; and Roslina Chai, Managing Director of Catalyse.

Date: 25 August 2020

Time: 10-11am

Venue: Online (via Zoom)

Register here!