{"id":339,"date":"2022-12-21T04:29:35","date_gmt":"2022-12-21T04:29:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/?p=339"},"modified":"2023-01-05T08:34:36","modified_gmt":"2023-01-05T08:34:36","slug":"dont-be-so-sensitive-lah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/2022\/12\/21\/dont-be-so-sensitive-lah\/","title":{"rendered":"Don\u2019t Be So Sensitive Lah\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you Indian Malaysian? Or Malaysian Indian?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was suddenly asked this question when I \u2018grew up\u2019\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Does my identity change because I identify as one before the other?\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

And surely one was nationality and the other my culture\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yet all through my life, milestones like purchasing property, renting a flat, or getting a job were dependent on this definition\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

of whether I was Indian\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For in the name of fairness, quotas were set for benefits reaped\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But when I ask if credit, position and privilege are based on merit or race, the silence is deafening.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I am accused of being sensitive, of being \u201cracially motivated\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

All while our politicians refer to Indians as \u201ckeling\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I came from a strong migrant family who arrived on the shores of Malaysia and Singapore as qualified professionals, impeccable English rolling off their tongues,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

to ensure they were never passed over for a promotion or a job,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

because these \u2018basics\u2019 were already in place\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Growing up I was always told to be better than average\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was understood that I would have to be far better than my peers\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

or more active, or unique\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

to get a foot in the door\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Growing up I was taught to be proud of where I am from\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Where the swish of sarees and the smell of incense intermingles with sambal nasi lemak and hokkien mee\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Where I sing the national anthem with the same pride with which I speak my mother tongue <\/span><\/p>\n

Where I went to a school that allowed the baju kurung as a uniform choice, but not the kurta suit,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Where wearing a saree to the office was met with mixed reactions\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Surprise at its beauty and then ire because I was showing off my midriff, <\/span><\/p>\n

Though no one said a word when I showed my legs in my skirt suits just the day before. <\/span><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t be so sensitive lah\u2026 it\u2019s just not common to see nowadays<\/span><\/i>.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I was never taught how to respond\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was told it was refreshing to see I could speak English so well \u2018\u2019for an Indian\u2019\u2019<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was told that I would have to wait a year for that promotion because it was not a year for an Indian to be promoted\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When I was told that the landlord wouldn\u2019t rent to an Indian generally, but I wasn\u2019t \u2018that\u2019 kind of Indian\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Or when the taxi refused to pick me up<\/span><\/p>\n

When I am told not to be so sensitive.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So, I am learning my lessons, and teaching my children how to respond\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When another child tells my daughter she should use powder on her face <\/span><\/p>\n

When a classmate comments that her hair is messy because it is \u201ccurly like all Indians\u2019 hair\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

When the person in the lift moves their child further away from my children as if being Indian was contagious.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Or when the well-meaning aunty in the market tells my son, \u201cWah your eyes so big, so nice, pity your skin so dark.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

When will people learn to appreciate a fellow human for just being\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

To not use their features as a thorn to prick,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

but as an appreciation of their beauty, their individuality\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

When will we stop brushing aside these slights\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

because we are told\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t be so sensitive, it\u2019s not so bad lah.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But sensitive we must be\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So those who don\u2019t know are taught the lessons of acceptance and beauty <\/span><\/p>\n

So we may celebrate our identities <\/span>because <\/b>we are Indian,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Not despite being Indian.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Aarathi Arumugam is a Malaysian-born Indian who has lived in Singapore for the last 12 years. She is proud of her heritage and culture, being Indian and having been brought up around a melting pot of all Asian cultures. <\/span><\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you Indian Malaysian? Or Malaysian Indian?\u00a0 I was suddenly asked this question when I \u2018grew up\u2019\u00a0 Does my identity change because I identify as one before the other?\u00a0 And surely one was nationality and the other my culture\u00a0   Yet all through my life, milestones like purchasing property, renting a flat, or getting a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":687,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-339","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-online-exclusive"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/339","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=339"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/339\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":659,"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/339\/revisions\/659"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/687"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=339"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=339"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aware.org.sg\/growingupindian\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=339"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}